From broken dreams and shattered promises

A block of ice the hearts became.

Cold, unyielding, unfeeling….life was gray and bleak.

A hint, a chance, a forgotten note led to a “Shining One”

From a land beyond the warm waters of the west

A sweet remembrance of time where all

The world was green and full of life –  

Before fate led two darkened lights to the threshold of the hearts.

Many rotations had brought more and more pain, throwing

Dual hearts into utter despair.  Death would seem a better course

Than continuing through the vale of misery alongside the shadows.

Hearts and souls began to wither, the body wracked with pain, slowly dying

As the inner lights began to dim…

Would that God save the dying souls.

As cold and bleak a day could ever be born,

The bond was broken and two hearts torn asunder.

Separated cruelly, yet separation brought relief. 

The injured souls given respite  

A seemingly small and thin, yet divine lifeline

Cast across the darkened waters of turmoil,

A lifeline of hope to start anew and rediscover the world within.

The healing began, the journey long, but not to be endured alone,

Two separate hearts, shattered and lost,

Rapidly progressed along a path

That converged seven lengths of time later

Over peppermint and brew.

A summit conquered.

A billion thoughts expressed,

Exchanged,

Shared,

And enjoyed

Through the late darkness of early days

And early darkness of late days

A time of separation over the expanse of sand and sea

Quenched not the bloom of growing affection.

The bond growing and souls healing

Hearts becoming whole again

Through the energy of Love

Given freely

Expressed freely

Enjoyed freely

On a sacred day, when all the world lay glittering beneath an all-knowing moon,

The heart expanded its capacity to love. 

Words heavy with meaning touched the soul,

Opening the chambers of the heart for deep reflection. 

Eyes glistening and cheeks wet with the tears of understanding,

The Shining Ones – reborn.

In the passage of time that seemed too swift,

Feelings that once were extinguished by the shadowed ones

Began to emerge like tiny green buds in the youth of a new year.

Each caress lighting the caverns of the heart,

Each breath warming the tenderlings of love,

Each kiss enticing the soul to awaken,

Each embrace  nourishing the promise of a new beginning.

Then doubt, ugly and sinister, wormed its way into the heart,

Whispering its lies and half-truths. 

Its touch leaving dark stains of worry and fear

Upon the beauty of affection that had sprung in the place of destruction. 

The Shining Ones feared – was this love false, then? 

Was it premature? 

Could it possibly survive the interference of the past

That haunted the dark regions of the mind

And threatened the still tender heart?

Where came this doubt?  Where came this fear?

The heart began to withdraw and pull into itself

As the mind entertained the demons of fear and self-doubt.

The shadows of the past came a-haunting,

Strong and determined,

Casting darkness over hope and trust. 

“Withdraw, retreat, flee,” cried the Demon of fear.

“No,” entreated the still small voice of the Divine. 

Stay.  Please.

Stay the course. 

Trust.

Have faith.

Here you found happiness,

Here you found a refuge from the pain.

Here is where you were led to safety.

Here is where through all life’s decisions,

you found each other.

Here is love. 

Here is what you wanted, what you needed.

Why flee? 

The past is no more. 

The past is only a story. 

Stay.

Stay.

Stay.

Breathe, she said.

Breathe, he agreed.

Breathe. 

And they smiled. 

And laughed.

And loved.

And loved so deeply, the joy of it….

Exquisite beyond words,

Beyond meaning. 

With hands pressed together at the Heart,

Bow and honor

The Divine within you.

The Divine within me.

Namaste.

 ~ K.R. Lexington

Judge nothing, be happy. Forgive everything, be happier. Love everything, be happiest ~ Sri Chinmoy

 : – ) ( – :

Perhaps it was the mystery roses that fragrance the air in my bedroom which infused my dreams with….

Sigh.

Those roses that were delivered in secret, with their deep red color that draw the eye and fingertips to their velvet petals. 

Like the touch of a lover’s hand. 

Like the whisper of a kiss.

Like the soft gaze that penetrates the soul.

My dreams take me to another time and another world beyond imagining…

“Breathe,” the voice says and drawing a deep breath, I open my eyes to view the world below me.  I glance up and see the expanse of the heavens. I feel like I can touch the face of God.  Here, I think, I can release the pain I have carried for so long.  I can give it to God who can replace it with love. 

“Let it go,” the voice guides and even before the words are quieted in the stillness, I am weeping.  I clutch the air and find no purchase to brace myself from the pain that erupts from deep within.  I turn, looking for the source of the comforting words and find a shoulder to grasp.  A strength that holds me, braces me, soothes me.

I ascended broken, hurt, alone, and in pain.

I descended with a lighter heart, connected to love, to spirit, to hope and peace.

This was only the beginning of a journey with no end….

“To love is to receive a glimpse Heaven.” ~ Karen Sunde

In my paranormal romance, FALL, Julia experiences her very first kiss and realizes that there is more to just pressing lips together. 

Valentine’s Day always makes me think of kissing.  Right?  I mean, who isn’t thinking about kissing on Valentine’s Day? I like kissing.  No, actually, I LOVE kissing.   But, alas, I’m without a Romeo that I can beckon to me and share in the blissful joy of kisses! OH! Wherefore art thou, my Romeo, to come and give me kisses sweet as wine , er, grape juice!  Ahh me, I will have to resort to remembering what they were like so long ago.

: – ) ( – :

But what do the experts know?  I’m not a statistic.  I’ve got a lot of good things going for me right now and as long as I focus on the things that I’m grateful for, the more things to be grateful for keep coming my way.  I’m especially grateful for being able to publish my book, FALL and the wonderful reception it has received from an ever growing audience.  It really motivates me to get going on writing the sequel.

However, writing the sequel has suffered due to my focusing on the Gold’s Gym Body Transformation Challenge.  Usually, I write when the kids are asleep, but I’ve been using that time to workout early in the morning.  By the time the kids are put to bed later at night, I.m so wiped out from my day, I crash too.  So, I’ve been trying to figure a new routine that’ll work…while in my head I’m constructing scenes for the sequel.  And since FALL is a romance, my brain is geared toward setting the scenes for a secret rendezvous between… well, I can’t tell you who it’s between, you’ll just have to read the sequel and find out for yourself.   But I’ll give you a hint – see below.  And his name isn’t Matthew….

It’s been a productive day. Sent off 9 resumes. Cleaned my tiny apartment.  Connected with my sons’ Occupational Therapist and exchanged ideas about how to help them better cope with their sensory needs. Scooters is a new one the OT is going to try with son #2. Wrote a bit on the sequel of FALL. Thought about snow-capped mountains and taking up snowboarding lessons. Let the dog in and out about 6 times. 

Kids are going to be with their dad this weekend. Four days without kids. It used to unsettle me being away from my children for more than a day.  It doesn’t feel “right” not to have my children with me all the time.  Like part of my heart goes numb during the time they are away with their father.   And when they’re gone, my apartment is very quiet.  I notice every sound, from the gurgling of the hot water tank, to the soft whoosh of the furnace.  I can even hear the chickens in the back yard quietly clucking to each other.   I don’t want to be here.  Unless, of course, I’m in the writing mood and then I’m not here anyway.  I’m in Torrey with JD and Nathan, plotting and strategizing a convoluted storyline.  Sigh……. 

My imagination takes over, thinking of JD and her love interest.  I am a romantic at heart - so I imagine my ideal weekend away to make up for the loneliness I’m feeling just thinking about my kids being gone this weekend.   I pretend I have this gorgeous hunk of a boyfriend who picks me up in his big red truck early in the morning.  We drive to the canyons where we go snowshoeing through the backcountry.  We stop about 2 hours into our trek to have a delicious gourmet picnic that he prepared himself (See, my dream guy is a chef).   After a satisfying meal of roasted herb-covered chicken, a crisp mixed-greens and herb salad with feta, dried cranberries and pecans,  and a tropical fruit desert with mangoes, papayas and bananas, we trek back to his truck and drive to his cabin.  He starts a fire as I make hot cocoa.   I meet him on the couch with a thick soft throw around us.  We talk all night long until I fall asleep in his arms.   This is the PG version.  The PG-13 version has some cuddling and kissing. 

It’s hard to write romance and not think about having a romance of my own.   

Dream guy…. where are you?

Jennifer’s Competition Plan

Caloric intake: 1300 to 1700

Protein: 168 – 185 grams

Carbs: 126 – 135 grams

Fats: 56 – 65 grams

Menu: 

5:30 am – 1/2 scoop Meal Replacement Shake

7:30 am – Protein Shake

9:30 am – 1/2 cup cooked oatmeal with 3 egg whites and 1 whole egg with 1 cup sautéed Kale

11:30 pm – Chicken Breast, 1/2 brown rice, BIG green salad

2:30 pm – Potato

5:30 pm – Meal Replacement Shake

7:30 pm – Chicken Breast, Big Green Salad

Jennifer’s Workout Schedule:

Day 1: Back & Cardio (30 min)

Day 2: Abs, Cardio (45 min)

Day 3: Legs, Calves & Cardio (30 min)

Day 4: Abs, Cardio (45 min)

Day 5: Chest, Biceps & Cardio (30 min)

Day 6: Shoulders, Triceps, & Cardio (30 min)

Day 7:  REST!

We use 5 sets of 15,12,10,8,6, reps with two exercises per muscle group.  We’ll try this routine for a while and see how our bodies react to it.  After about two weeks we will reevaluate the routine and diet and implement the changes.

I started this journey to better health and happiness back in October of 2011.  It’s been a long and bumpy road, but well worth it for the life experience I gained from it all.   And I owe it to my coach’s program for getting the fat off and the muscle on. 

Summary:

Total weight released: 15 lbs.

Total inches lost: 12.75 inches

10/10/11           11/24/11       12/26/11          1/23/12

Bicep:    11.5           11                  10.75                 10.5

Waist:     28             26.5              25.75                25.5

Belly:      31             31.5                31                      30.5

Hip:        37              36               35.25                   34.5

Butt:      37.5            38               37.5                    36.5

Thigh:     24              23               22.5                    22.5

Knee:        18             16               16.5                  15.25

Calf:         14.5         14.5               14                      13.5

Weight:     155          152               149                       140

We’re leaner than we were 3 months ago, but now the challenge is to get ripped so we can rock our bikinis by April 6th.   Last Monday marked the first day of our new routine and it makes our previous workouts seem ridiculously easy.   We hurt so bad afterwards, we have a hard time walking out of the gym.  We’ve increased weights, increased sets, and focused on form.  We’re pushing ourselves to the limit.  We’ve altered our diets, eating 6 times a day using simple whole foods, clean proteins, and meal-replacement shakes and bars from Isagenix jenniferhurst.isagenix.com.

After a set of bench presses, this morning, I felt like vomiting.  I can hardly touch the top of my head to wash my hair.  And I need a nap.  To keep myself motivated, I keep a mental picture in the forefront of my mind of what I want to look like in 3 months.  I’ve come this far, I can go much further.  I can do this.  I am a bikini babe.

When I arrived at the gym to fill out the paperwork, and get measured - I looked around at the other competitors and instantly felt out-of-place.   It was obvious that most of the others were looking to lose weight and tone up.  What the heck was I there for?  I was hustled into the back office and weighed.  Then into a another room where a petite brunette sat behind a desk typing busily on a laptop while a hulking gorilla who looked vaguely like a man, stood nearby flicking a white measuring tape across his palm.  I took a step back away from him.  He looked like he’d rather be eating dumbbells than frisking overweight and out-of-shape contestants with his measuring tape.

“You got your two piece on?” he asked gruffly, stepping closer, wrapping and unwrapping that tape measure around his fists like he was thinking of lassoeing me in case I decided to bolt. 

“Of course,” I muttered, looking away bashfully.  Just because I lost all that weight doesn’t mean I’m bikini worthy.  I’ve got pale skin and loose skin – especially on my abdomen.  Under his steady glare I stripped down to my two-piece swimsuit.  My cheeks flare bright red as he lunged forward suddenly and with practised speed whipped that measuring tape around my waist, hips and right thigh – calling out the numbers to the brunette who scribbled the information down in my Contest Handbook. 

I about fainted from holding my breath in stark terror at having a strange man inside my comfort zone.  I stood there, half-naked, in very close proximity to a man who was not my doctor nor my lover and I can tell you, it was not only uncomfortable, it was…..awkward.  I should get a prize for enduring the humiliation of being  measured by an intimidating muscle-bound grumpy gorilla.

“You’re done,” he gruffed and then lumbered out of the room.  Did he sound disgusted?  I started to gather my clothes feeling very unattractive.  

“Not yet,” piped the brunette.  She got up from her laptop and came around to where a camera on a tripod stood.  “Go stand over there.” she directed me to a sheet hanging over a wall. 

“Hold the newspaper,” she instructed.  I picked up a copy of the USA Today and still in a daze from my humiliating measuring experience, she snapped a picture.  Beautiful.  She told me to turn around and she snapped another picture.  Of my butt.  Oh, and I can’t forget about my thighs.  Lovely, I think.  Why did I decide to do this?  With these photos, I’m gonna be forced to do this challenge, because there is no way I’d live this down if I didn’t come back in 12 weeks with a tight, toned body!

Before I left she asked me what size shirt I wore.  At last, an opprotunity to save face.  “Small,” I said smugly.

“Sorry, we don’t have small,” she said tartly.  “We have medium.”  She tossed me a red T-shirt that had Gold’s Gym logo in the center with the words Body Transformation Challenge beneath that.  On the back, in little black letters it read, “I’m in the Gold’s Gym challenge.  Pretty soon I will fit into my itsy, bitsy, teenie, weenie, yellow, polka dot bikini.” 

I cringe. 

“Thanks,” I mutter.  I hurry and dress, then fly out the door.  I avoid looking at Gorilla as he stands ready to assault the next contestant with his measuring tape.

Now I’ve got to kick it hard.  I won’t be dropping pounds for my transformation.  I’m gonna be sculpting and defining my body into the best form it’s ever been in.  With the help of my Isagenix (jenniferhurst.isagenix.com) shakes and cleanses!   I got this far with my Isagenix 30 day program losing all that wieght and Isagenix is going to take me on to winning the grand prize! 

Will my efforts be enough to win?  What is going to impress the judges more?  Someone who loses 40 lbs.  or someone who took a pale, pasty white, flabby body and transformed it into rock solid muscle that can really rock an itsy, bitsy, teenie, weenie, yellow, polka dot bikini?

www.jenniferhurst.isagenix.com

Now I’m going to take it to the next level and accept Gold’s Gym 2012 Challenge for reaching my next goal.  And I’m using Isagenix to get me there.  Who else wants to join me?  Even if you don’t belong to Gold’s Gym, you can do it for yourself and join me on the 12 week journey towards better health and healthy weight loss.  I can support you, and my coach, bless his heart, will offer his coaching services if you want to use the Isagenix system with me.  What have you got to lose besides a lot of weight?  Can you commit to 12 weeks?  Or even just 30 days?  How about just 9 days?  Really! 

Go to www.jenniferhurst.isagenix.com for more information about the programs available.   Search 30 day fat burn/cleanse or the 9 day deep cleanse to jumpstart your weight loss program today. 

Now the journey really begins!